Dawn Is Me

Some days, you really just want to be brain dead. This is turning out to be one of those days.

I’ve lost track of the number of things I need to be doing right now but I suspect that it’s enough stuff to keep at least half a dozen clones busy.

A lot of them involve writing.

I have a paper due on Monday. It’s about Ancient Egyptian pyramids. Um … yeah.

I also need to trot over the The Journal Blog and explain to my readers why I appear to have abandoned them.

Oh, yeah, and to let them know that I’m not dead or anything like that.

I also have any number of stories I could be writing and any number of pieces of electronic correspondence to which I could be responding.

Instead, I’m having an internal debate on the relative merits of The Sims versus Diablo, Lord of Destruction.

Sometimes, I’ll admit that I display no evidence whatsoever of intellect — overpowering or otherwise.

It’s a high-flying flag. Think I’ll wave it.

*wave, wave*

There, that’s done.

I would probably be accused of being unpatriotic by a lot of people. That’s because I don’t drape myself, my web sites and my belongings in the American flag at every opportunity.

I’m not the type to wear patriotic undies, mostly because I just feel there’s something innately disrespectful about using the flag to cover your booty.

I express my patriotism in other ways.

Like not trying to weasel out of jury duty. Like participating in my community’s politics. Like being an active member of a political party. Like working to get candidates elected. Like running for office.

Hell, like voting.

The fact that I don’t have a Dodge Ram with an American flag and eagle painted into the rear window of the cab doesn’t mean a whole lot, on balance.

In other news …

I’m terribly depressed. Not clinically depressed … at least, I don’t think so. It occurs to me that I’m probably not in the best spot to make that diagnosis or lack thereof. I’m not lolling around in bed, unable to drag myself up, not getting anything done, etc., etc.

On the contrary, I’m spinning like a frickin’ top. If anything, maybe depressed isn’t the word for it. Maybe I’m just overwhelmed.

So, I bet you’re wondering what’s on Dawn’s docket?

Well, I’ve volunteered to be a major staffer on one local campaign and a county coordinator for a particular state-wide campaign. I shut down my newsletter for awhile but I’ve launched a weekly Blog Talk Radio show on top of my weekly podcast. I’ve taken on content supplier duties with two more outfits, in addition to the writing I do for Small Business Trends. I have accepted an extension of my service on the executive advisory board of a certain national organization for women business owners. I am planning another research project, the proposal for which I intend to submit at the end of this month. I’m also preparing to go back to school — Hartwick College, to be precise — in September.

I feel like I must be forgetting something in there.

On top of which is the usual dealing with the kids and feeding them and other stuff that falls under the general category of Being Mom.

Yeah.

Overwhelmed is probably a good way to describe it.

You know … now I think about it, I could do with my own Declaration of Independence.

It’s been awhile, huh? Did I leave you hanging? I’m sooooo sorry …

So, yeah. It’s Ricky’s birthday. He’s 13 year old now, officially a teenager (as he has reminded me about 16 times already today). Having survived season one of As The Teens Turn, Ricky doesn’t scare me.

He couldn’t possibly out-do Psycho Boy. No way.

To bring you up to date, I have not only decided to go ahead and go back to school, I have applied to and been accepted by Hartwick College. They even gave me a fairly huge, 4-year scholarship to get me started.

Come September, I’m going back to school! I’m totally jazzed!

Of course, if either Kimmie or Gina winds up going there within the next few years, it’ll get just a tiny bit bizarre. I’ll enjoy it and I expect which ever of my girls is there will also enjoy it.

The City of Oneonta, on the other hand, may take some time to recover by the time we’re done.

That’s about the best thing going on with me right now. Physically, my world has been circumscribed by the fact that I blew my knee while FIRMing in a hotel room in Rye, NY.

(And what was I doing in a hotel room in Rye, NY? I was working out, of course! Oh, alright … I was down there for the nominating convention of the NYS Democratic Committee, where we officially designated Andrew Cuomo as our candidate for government. No suspense involved in that one at all … but I digress.)

And I’m still very depressed, although I don’t really know why. You’d think, with me gearing up to head back to school (something I expect to thoroughly enjoy), that I’d be aux anges but I’m down in the dumps instead.

Of course, my domestic situation continues to go quietly and cheerfully down the toilet. That might have something to do with it. Oh well.

Of all the things they tell you are difficult in life, one thing very few people mention: transitions.

Being in a rut can be quite painful.

Starting all over again can be fun but frightening.

Getting from point A to point B … painful, frightening, logistically tough, lonely … you name it.

My hope is that I’ll start having fun again … later.