Dawn Is Me

I’ve decided. I want an Accent.

It doesn’t have to be new. I try not to be unreasonable. But that’s what I want.

Christmas really changes in nature as your children grow up.

There are a lot of reasons for that but the most important reason is that, as your children get older, they start wanting things that you really just can’t afford.

Or, at least, things that I just really can’t afford.

Once upon a time, I bought David three cars for Christmas. Of course, they were made entirely of plastic, carried little plastic people (the name of which escapes me right this minute), and were approximately eight inches long.

Now, there are no cars for Christmas. Gina’s holding out for a Kia Forte and that’s just too big to fit in this Ms. Santa’s bag of goodies.

So, barring winning lotto numbers, it’ll be hard to get them “just what they wanted” at this point. Besides, I’m broke and still trying to pull together the money just to move.

One thing I’m determined about: this is my last Christmas in this house.

I’m feeling a certain amount of pressure to get my children out of here, never mind me. Not that he is doing anything particularly abusive. Baker is no more abusive than he has been all along. His emotional cluelessness hasn’t changed a bit.

But the kids are unhappy here, profoundly unhappy, especially the girls.

I want to get us all out of this house so that I can create the kind of home we used to have, one that’s full of fun and music and light and laughter. That’s my pledge to them and to me.

In fact, I guess you might call it my New Year’s Resolution.

So, Christmas was quite pleasant (and thank you very much, ladies, because I know that keeping the tone light and happy cost you plenty) and I hope we’ll have some fun while ringing in the New Year.

And then it will be time to get to work.

Hey, it’s Christmas.

We’ve just finished eating a remarkably Thanksgiving-like dinner; for a set of reasons I’m not going to get into right now, the traditional roast beef and Yorkshire pudding has been postponed until New Year’s.

I have new reading material on this joyful day: An Assault on Reason by Al Gore and The Omnivore’s Dilemma by Michael Pollan. My only problem at the moment is deciding which to read first.

It’s enough to make me wish I had two heads.

The kids made out nicely. I don’t really have the time or inclination to get into every single gift they each got, so I’ll just mention that my favorite was Ricky’s robot bug — mainly because of the entertainment value of watching the cat trying to figure out what to make of it.

That and I’m looking forward to amazing scenic views of amazingly scenic Ithaca, NY, courtesy of Gina’s new digital camera.

I’m tired, of course. It’s one of those obligatory things. When you’re a parent, Christmas makes you tired.

But I’m also happy. We had a better Christmas than we’ve been able to have in quite a few years.

I like to think that bodes well for 2009.