Dawn Is Me

My beloved spouse made an announcement to me a couple of minutes ago:

Hamster TV has been replaced in the ratings by wide-screen Rabbit TV.

Evidently, the spectacle of Hamtaro trying (but not succeeding) to seduce Snowball is not as enthralling as Autumn the Rabbit licking her foot.

Autumn is the latest low-on-the-food-chain denizen of the Baker household. Gino decided to get himself a rabbit, partly because he feels she will somehow be therapeutic in his ongoing battle to keep his spirits up and partly because, “I’m just partial to small furry creatures.”

(So, if you want to entice him into having an extra-marital fling, you have to be a 4′3″ hairy woman, I guess.)

It must have worked. When I got home from grocery shopping this morning at 9:15, I had to get him out of bed. He finally was able to relax into sleep enough that he wound up being late for work.

How about that, huh? A guy who telecommutes … he works from an office in his house just off the kitchen, and he’s late for work. Can’t blame this one on MTA, can ya?

In today’s medical news …

Hey, guess what? The U.S. market for impotence drugs — oh, excuse me, erectile dysfunction drugs — is not as large as drug companies originally thought.

Here, according to the New York Times, are some of the things the experts have to say:

“‘The idea that every man with erectile dysfunction is going to want to take one of these pills – I think that’s not accurate,’ [Dr. Abraham Morgentaler, associate clinical professor of urology at Harvard Medical School] said. ‘And I don’t think there’s anything wrong with that.’

-snip-

“The typical user of an impotence drug is a man in his early 60’s who is married and wants to have sex a few times a month, as he has for years, [Matt Beebe, United States brand team leader for Cialis, the drug from Eli Lilly and the Icos Corporation that is the only impotence drug whose sales are increasing] said.

‘They don’t want to be turned into a 20-year-old again,’ Mr. Beebe said. ‘They just want to be a man and not have to worry about sexual dysfunction.’”

And then there’s this gem, about the tactic of trying to pitch impotence medications to younger men:

“So-called recreational use of the drugs by younger men, while more difficult to track, also seems to have peaked, urologists say. For most men under 40, the drugs make only a marginal difference in the quality of intercourse, said Dr. Michael A. Perelman, a sexual medicine specialist in Manhattan.

‘In many ways, if you have a full tank of gas or half a tank of gas, your car runs equally well,’ Dr. Perelman said. ‘The degree of recreational use that exists is exaggerated.’

(Full tank of gas or a half tank of gas? LOL! I love it!)

This is kind of a foreign idea to me, but it’s possible that men are not really as much in love with that extra appendage as advertised. Either that or it’s just not manly to use a crutch for that particular activity.

Then again, maybe the problem is with the unofficial advertising, aka spam. Every time Derek gets one of those ads promising that he can keep it hard for 36 hours, all he has to say on the subject is “ow.”

Pfizer is being stubborn about the whole thing, convinced that there’s this huge untapped market of men out here who can’t get it up and are desparate to do something about it. As to that, I couldn’t say but the market trends seem to disagree.

Heh.

I’m trying to be subtle here but this post is an official hint.

I figure I’d have to actually post about it because I’m reasonably certain that the relevant party isn’t going to see the link over there in the sidebar, subtlely entitled WHAT DAWN WANTS.

For that matter, you wouldn’t think you’d have to resort to wish lists when you’ve been acquainted with somebody for a quarter of a century, would you?

You’d think, by then, they’d have a pretty good feel for the kind of things they can get you for a birthday, Christmas, anniversary and assorted other occasions for which gift-buying may be required.

Yeah, right.

So (naming no names, but you know who you are), if you’re stumped for what to get Dawn for [fill in the occasion here], I’ve made it easy for you with that handy-dandy little link over there.

Just consider it another example of my abundant kindness.