Dawn Is Me

Derek: Teenagers coming, 11 o’clock!

Gino: How far away are they?

Derek: I saw them coming across the back.

Dawn: How many of them were there?

Derek: It was Gina and Kasedy. We’re at DEFCON 5!

Dawn: Red alert, red alert! Man your battle stations, teenagers coming! Teenagers coming! This is not a drill, I repeat, this is not a drill!

I don’t know why people complain about teenagers. We have a lot of fun with ours.

Zap zits from your pics! screams the school photo brochure that Gina brought home from the high school.

Fancy that! Nowadays, you can get your school pictures retouched so that, two decades from now when you are sharing these photos with your loving children, they’ll never realize that your face was as cratered as theirs turned out to be!

We never had those options when I was in high school. We had to live with a true representation of what we actually looked like, in all our zitful glory.

Man … who decided that these kids were such delicate flowers that they can’t deal with a little reality? And what happens when they are pitched into the real world, which is much less willing to gild itself in cosmetic gloss to protect the self-esteem of said delicate flowers?

Enquiring minds want to know.

I’m thinking I need to take Brian out and treat him to a dinner of steak and lobster.

I’m with Gina: he really needs to get out more.