« Fastest thing on two feet | Home | We shall overcome »

I’m so tired of being here

By Me | April 30, 2008

“… bent down by the weight of feelings she could not convey.”

I feel like that sometimes.

Sometimes, it seems like I’m all alone in my life, in spite of all the people who live in my house.

When good things happen to me or when bad things happen to me — sometimes it seems like there is nobody in my life who cares.

They want me to be strong so they can depend on me. They get angry when I try for a little spell of weakness, because they don’t want me to get the idea that I can rely on them.

They are often willing to tell me that I look/sound tired but there is no one willing to let me rest.

There is nobody in my life who is willing to put themselves out, even a little, to make me happy.

And that makes me sad sometimes. At other times, it just makes me feel used.

But it’s not really something I can say to anybody.

I don’t want to burden myself with other people’s guilt.

Topics: Nature's Psyche Lab (aka Family) |

One Response to “I’m so tired of being here”

  1. G Says:
    April 30th, 2008 at 7:27 pm

    Heeeeeeey, you know if you need a hand, I’ll be there.

    You need to speak up sometimes, let people know what you’re feeling. Don’t you remember what Kyo told Tohru in, like, episode 7 of Fruits Basket? How can you get what you want if you don’t voice it? Bitch if you have to, just as long as it lets people know. Anyway, I’ll be home in a week, and though I’ll be busy myself, I’ll definitely do what I can to help. It’s the least I can do for everything you’ve done, and will be doing, for me :)

    Love ya,
    G