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Glory days pass me by …

By Me | March 6, 2008

Once upon a time, I had perky little boobies that were perky and … um … little.

They nestled happily under my clothing, asking nothing. They didn’t come into play very much when I was in femme fatale mode because, being perky and little, they were not designed to appeal to the male libido. For that, I relied on the legs — even though I rarely (ever?) met a self-avowed leg man.

Parenthetically, I don’t think there is any such thing. I have come to the conclusion that all men are fundamentally boob men; some of them are simply more willing to work with what they can get than others.

In any event, my perky little boobs seemed perfectly satisfied with the situation. They were quite willing to converse quietly with each other inside my blouses and tee shirts, waiting for their day in the spotlight.

That did not happen until after I started having children. At that point, they became significantly less little but they remained (temporarily) perky — although their perk was directly proportional to the amount of time that had elapsed since the last time I fed the kid.

Fast forward four kids and a quarter of a century and the boobs are no longer either little or perky (although I’m told by my childless friends that children have nothing to do with it; gravity is the enemy). They are not depressed exactly, simply tired.

But it’s a good tired. It’s the tired of a pair of boobs that take satisfaction in a job well done. Sort of the way you feel after a particularly good workout.

I guess, when the rest of me goes into retirement, I can hope to feel the same way about my life’s work.

But it’s kind of sad, the thought that one’s boobs have retired. I suppose, if I had the money and the inclination, I could put them under the knife and bring them forcibly out of retirement. But that would be cruel, as if the good work they have already done is somehow not enough.

They may not be little and perky anymore, but they are still cheerful. And, if they still don’t attract much attention, that bothers me a lot less now than it did when I was in my twenties.

That’s one nice thing about getting older. You get to stop worrying about stuff like that.

Topics: Stuff |

One Response to “Glory days pass me by …”

  1. G Says:
    March 6th, 2008 at 4:49 pm

    This was what you were thinking about when you were contemplating the universe???