« I found her diary underneath a tree … | Home | Wake me up before you go, go »

Celebrate me home

By Me | May 28, 2007

Here’s something I learned relatively early in life:

Holidays suck.

It’s probably not their fault.

On holidays, the family all gets together to eat and drink and be merry. Unfortunately, too often they eat some, drink way too much and, instead of being merry, they be belligerent.

Of course, for all I know, that might be their idea of being merry. I’ve never asked.

It’s bad enough during the cold weather holidays like Thanksgiving, Christmas and the famous family New Year’s Eve party when scrawny Uncle Joe gets drunk, insults Grandma, gets smarmy with all the females of the family, and picks a fight with burly Uncle Bo.

It’s much worse during the warm weather holidays like … um … Memorial Day. It’s worse because you get to watch that particular drama taking place across the street, in a family that you are no part of, during an argument that you wish you didn’t have to listen to.

Sadly, the only way to avoid listening would be to leave town.

That’s the only thing I don’t like about warm weather. It brings people out of their houses, to do things in public that they really should still be doing in their houses.

And I’m not referring to the horizontal mambo. In some ways, that is a spectacle that would be much more entertaining.

No, they don’t come out onto their porches to do that. They come out on their porches to scream in each other’s faces, curse each other out, engage in varying degrees of physical violence, and generally permit me to witness scenes I would much rather not.

And it prompts fond fantasies of heat-seeking missiles, grenade launchers and others weapons of neighborly destruction.

I like people. No, really. I just like them better when they’re quiet.

[tags]family reunions, holidays, noisy neighbors, Memorial Day[/tags]

Topics: Stuff |

One Response to “Celebrate me home”

  1. -=e=- Says:
    May 28th, 2007 at 4:24 pm

    And this is why I know so many people that will avoid family get togethers at all costs.