Her therapist is trying to persuade them to let him instruct them in ICPS techniques, but they aren’t really open to that. And anything I have to say about my own success with her with collabortive problem solving falls on deaf ears; they think I’m just ‘doting mom’ and my perceptions aren’t objective or trustworthy.

I’ve been homeschooling her since last April, when they first made this assinine suggestion and I told the CSE that I and her therapist agreed that it was not an appropriate placement for her. I’ve been wanting to send her back to school because, frankly, I just don’t have the time to teach her at home right now (not when I have a business to run). She wants to go back, too — which is problematic because all this hemming and hawing feels to her like rejection (poor baby).

My hope is that, if I can establish to their satisfaction that she needs to be accelerated academically, maybe she’ll have a curriculum devised for her that won’t bore her so much — a state of affairs that just makes everything worse!

I could write a lot more about this … but I won’t. At least, not tonight. Thank you so much for your comment.

If you want the numbers for her IQ that may help a school district develop an appropriate educational plan the best place I’ve found to get them is from a neuropsychologist, preferably one that specializes in AD/HD.

You can also have the school do an evaluation of your daughter. Request a referral in writing for services for your daughter, specifying her ‘disabilities’ and how they adversely affect her educationally. Then a team (including you and those you invite) decides whether an IEA (Independent Educational Assessment) should be done. That assessments performed depend on the reasons for referral, but with AD/HD and G/T an Ability assessment (IQ) is mandatory, as would be an achievement assessment (performance). Observations in different educational settings are mandatory, as is an FBA (Functional-Behavioral Assessment). These would all provide good information for you – they will at least provide you with an good idea of where your daughter stands in comparison to peers the same age academically, in ability, and behaviorally. Often these numbers can indicate strenghts and weaknesses that can help no matter where the IEA goes.

After that is completed, the standardized and anectodal information will be compared to the criteria for eligibility under IDEA, and she would proceed to an IEP (individual Education Plan) or not be found eligible. Regardless, students with AD/HD diagnosis can be referred for accommodations under section 504 of the ADA (American’s with Disabilities Act). This is much broader in scope, and if you meet the criteria for an AD/HD diagnosis, you meet the criteria for 504 (and under IDEA, as some learned experts w/in public education have admitted to me although the ‘correct’ response is to the contrary).

If it’s any consolation, I was the brilliant Indigo child myself… or devil spawn depending on whom you asked. I’m now a special education teacher specializing w/ AD/HD. I’m educating district staffs, primarily teachers, and also work with a caseload of students that mirror your daughter. There are effective ways to bridge the difference between children like “us” and institutionalized education, while developing and growing safely and successfully. More than anything, I relate to you as a Mom. I’ve covered all the angles of AD/HD… as a student, adult, educator, and parent, and by far being the parent is the most difficult. Sometimes it’s just so unfair, so overwhelming – and that’s in a supportive environment! Without the support, it’s just so big, so isolating, and so confusing.

I also homeschool for a few years too, and fought a school district to finally obtain services. I’m now also advocating for other children, by supporting parents, teachers, and understanding for AD/HD and like-abled students. It’s wonderfully cathertic: nothing’s better than revisiting the blamed, brave, misunderstood ‘little-me’ vicariously and healing some moments of her pain when I am part of that healing for another child or person.

There are many options, and evolving progress is the goal and hope. A school isn’t enough, a parent isn’t enough, a plan or a test isn’t enough, meds, nutrition, therapies, love, homeschool, even understanding isn’t enough. But the right combination for an individuals needs, over time, with realistic expectations and opportunities for success is always, always ‘enough.’

Keep blogging, it can preserve your sanity – and others’!