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I’ve grown tired of fighting
By Me | December 16, 2005
Okay, now that that’s done.
I am facing what I call a monumental challenge.
I have a daughter who (a) has ADHD, (b) is an introvert (making her susceptible to overstimulation), and (c) is probably gifted. Yes, we’re talking about Kimmie.
Did you know that there are a lot of characteristics (or symptoms, depending on your orientation) often displayed by children with ADHD that are also displayed by children who are gifted? And sometimes, they are both.
My challenge is to persuade the state of New York to provide her with the education she is entitled to. Because I need to establish, through the use of objective resources (because the morons at this school district are very resistant to the idea that she may be gifted, they are too wedded to the idea that she is a dangerous lunatic … grrrrr), that she really is gifted or talented or whatever it turns out that she is.
Once I’ve done that (and I don’t even know where to go with it right now, who tests for these things, what kinds of qualifications should the have, etc.), I can sit down with them and craft an IEP that will actually meet their needs. I’m very, very lucky to have her counsellor on my side.
It’s annoying to have to go through all this; not like I don’t have other things to do. On the plus side, it’s worth the trouble. There’s a lot of potential in this girl and, if I don’t do this for her now, this school system will let her go straight down the toilet. That, as far as I’m concerned, is not an option.
I hope you’ll pardon me while I go get my suit of armor out of the closet and check it over for rust spots …
Topics: Special Needs |
3 Responses to “I’ve grown tired of fighting”
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December 16th, 2005 at 2:39 pm
Don’t give up the fight! The state certainly will not be helpful, the beurocracy is all they care about. Get her help on the outside if you can. But most of all don’t give up. We’ll call on Don Quixote to tilt at windmills with you, but never give up. ( I know yu won’t)
December 16th, 2005 at 10:11 pm
AD/HD has no bearing on intelligence, other than possibly getting in the way of typical expression that most rely on to recognize high or low incidences of it. But since intelligence isn’t really defined anyway, it’s more probable that AD/HD kidlets are more creative and experiential, which leads to more “intelligent” development possibly.
If you want the numbers for her IQ that may help a school district develop an appropriate educational plan the best place I’ve found to get them is from a neuropsychologist, preferably one that specializes in AD/HD.
You can also have the school do an evaluation of your daughter. Request a referral in writing for services for your daughter, specifying her ‘disabilities’ and how they adversely affect her educationally. Then a team (including you and those you invite) decides whether an IEA (Independent Educational Assessment) should be done. That assessments performed depend on the reasons for referral, but with AD/HD and G/T an Ability assessment (IQ) is mandatory, as would be an achievement assessment (performance). Observations in different educational settings are mandatory, as is an FBA (Functional-Behavioral Assessment). These would all provide good information for you - they will at least provide you with an good idea of where your daughter stands in comparison to peers the same age academically, in ability, and behaviorally. Often these numbers can indicate strenghts and weaknesses that can help no matter where the IEA goes.
After that is completed, the standardized and anectodal information will be compared to the criteria for eligibility under IDEA, and she would proceed to an IEP (individual Education Plan) or not be found eligible. Regardless, students with AD/HD diagnosis can be referred for accommodations under section 504 of the ADA (American’s with Disabilities Act). This is much broader in scope, and if you meet the criteria for an AD/HD diagnosis, you meet the criteria for 504 (and under IDEA, as some learned experts w/in public education have admitted to me although the ‘correct’ response is to the contrary).
If it’s any consolation, I was the brilliant Indigo child myself… or devil spawn depending on whom you asked. I’m now a special education teacher specializing w/ AD/HD. I’m educating district staffs, primarily teachers, and also work with a caseload of students that mirror your daughter. There are effective ways to bridge the difference between children like “us” and institutionalized education, while developing and growing safely and successfully. More than anything, I relate to you as a Mom. I’ve covered all the angles of AD/HD… as a student, adult, educator, and parent, and by far being the parent is the most difficult. Sometimes it’s just so unfair, so overwhelming - and that’s in a supportive environment! Without the support, it’s just so big, so isolating, and so confusing.
I also homeschool for a few years too, and fought a school district to finally obtain services. I’m now also advocating for other children, by supporting parents, teachers, and understanding for AD/HD and like-abled students. It’s wonderfully cathertic: nothing’s better than revisiting the blamed, brave, misunderstood ‘little-me’ vicariously and healing some moments of her pain when I am part of that healing for another child or person.
There are many options, and evolving progress is the goal and hope. A school isn’t enough, a parent isn’t enough, a plan or a test isn’t enough, meds, nutrition, therapies, love, homeschool, even understanding isn’t enough. But the right combination for an individuals needs, over time, with realistic expectations and opportunities for success is always, always ‘enough.’
Keep blogging, it can preserve your sanity - and others’!
December 17th, 2005 at 12:42 am
Wow. Thank you so much for that outpouring! As it happens, Kimmie is already a special ed student, but because of her sometimes explosive behavior (which they always provoke but never are willing to take responsiblity for) their latest suggestion was sending her to the modern equivalent of reform school, with real juvenile delinquents. That’s the last thing that she needs.
Her therapist is trying to persuade them to let him instruct them in ICPS techniques, but they aren’t really open to that. And anything I have to say about my own success with her with collabortive problem solving falls on deaf ears; they think I’m just ‘doting mom’ and my perceptions aren’t objective or trustworthy.
I’ve been homeschooling her since last April, when they first made this assinine suggestion and I told the CSE that I and her therapist agreed that it was not an appropriate placement for her. I’ve been wanting to send her back to school because, frankly, I just don’t have the time to teach her at home right now (not when I have a business to run). She wants to go back, too — which is problematic because all this hemming and hawing feels to her like rejection (poor baby).
My hope is that, if I can establish to their satisfaction that she needs to be accelerated academically, maybe she’ll have a curriculum devised for her that won’t bore her so much — a state of affairs that just makes everything worse!
I could write a lot more about this … but I won’t. At least, not tonight. Thank you so much for your comment.