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Sometimes, having friends is hard
By Me | December 17, 2004
I have a problem.
My problem is that I’m too honest.
See, when I was younger and hadn’t learned the virtues of tact, I used to just blurt out anything that popped into my head whenever somebody asked me a question. I didn’t usually volunteer these opinions, but it never occured to me that people who asked me questions about what I thought about things didn’t really want to know.
Now that I’m older, I tend to be a bit more wary about how I answer people who ask me questions. I’m still honest about what I think, but I might put a bit of energy into putting my observations in ways that these folks might find more palatable.
But here’s the kink in all this so-called maturity of mine. If you’re somebody I call my friend, then I’ll tend to relax to the point that I’ll be inclined to just say whatever pops into my head. If I think of it and if it has anything to do with you, I’ll tell you about it.
If I think of it, and it has anything to do with my relationship with you, I’ll tell you about it.
To me, this is both a sign of the degree of trust I have for you and an important facet of relationship maintenance. I can’t be friends with somebody I don’t feel I can be completely honest and open with.
Some people handle this better than others.
I suppose I could solve the problem for myself by electing to keep my mouth shut. Except that, if I don’t feel like I can’t tell you anything and everything I think (whether I choose to or not is another story), then it’s going to be hard for me to consider you a friend.
I guess the bottom line is that a part of my definition of a friend is this: a friend is somebody you shouldn’t have to be careful with.
Topics: Friends Are Forever |
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