I’m so tired of being here
By Me | April 30, 2008
“… bent down by the weight of feelings she could not convey.”
I feel like that sometimes.
Sometimes, it seems like I’m all alone in my life, in spite of all the people who live in my house.
When good things happen to me or when bad things happen to me — sometimes it seems like there is nobody in my life who cares.
They want me to be strong so they can depend on me. They get angry when I try for a little spell of weakness, because they don’t want me to get the idea that I can rely on them.
They are often willing to tell me that I look/sound tired but there is no one willing to let me rest.
There is nobody in my life who is willing to put themselves out, even a little, to make me happy.
And that makes me sad sometimes. At other times, it just makes me feel used.
But it’s not really something I can say to anybody.
I don’t want to burden myself with other people’s guilt.
Topics: Nature's Psyche Lab (aka Family) | 1 Comment »
Fastest thing on two feet
By Me | April 19, 2008
Spouse and I spent most of the day in Ithaca, NY, where the Ithaca Bombers Men’s and Women’s Track Team won the 2008 Empire 8 championship meet.
I have my work cut out for me because I’m going to be helping her train over the summer, after she gets done with her summer courses. And, I realize, this presents a very good opportunity for me.
You know, when I first started exercising, I didn’t do it to lose weight. I didn’t even do it to tone the bod. I first started working out because I’d slipped a disc carrying baby David around and the chiropractor gave me some good advice about posture and proper support for the lower back through reasonably tight abdominal muscles and a bunch of stuff like that.
The advice appealed to me a lot more than an orthopedic surgeon telling me not to move for the next six months.
When I started working out, I discovered a lot of things about it that I liked. One of them was the fact that the exercise made it easier for me to keep up with my babies. All those times that I had to sprint across the quad at Brooklyn College, chasing baby Gina and hauling her back before baby David got a chance to make a break for freedom wouldn’t have been possible without those workouts.
So now, I find, I need to step up the pace of my workouts. This summer, I’m going to have to keep up with no-longer-baby Gina. She’s a lot faster now, so I’m going to have to train a lot harder.
It’ll be good for me.
(Just call me Haruna … )
Topics: Girl People | 1 Comment »
I am sixteen, going on seventeen
By Me | April 6, 2008
So, tell me if this ever happens to you.
Every now and then, I forget how old I am.
That’s not quite as insane as it may sound. Well, at least, I hope not … but, then, that’s why I’m asking you about it. Always operating under the assumption that you are possibly more sane than I am.
Anyway, for about two weeks after my birthday, I find myself telling myself at random moments, “I am N years old,” where N is equal to my current age at the moment — as contrasted to my former age, which was my current age a week or so before the aforementioned episode of talking to myself.
Maybe I am insane.
Yes, it’s sad but true. Right after I have a birthday, I am constantly in danger of forgetting that I’ve had a birthday and the age I’m used to being, after a year of being that age, is no longer the age I am.
Interestingly, this is not a problem I had when I was, say, thirteen.
I don’t think that’s a function of creeping senility, either.
When you’re twelve and you turn thirteen, you have spent a lot of time up until your birthday reminding yourself that you are about to turn thirteen. That’s because you’re a kid and you’re excited about the notion of getting older — especially one of the biggies, like thirteen, when you ‘officially’ enter the magical land of teendom.
In fact, when you’re that age, you have to exert a certain amount of control over yourself to keep yourself from telling people that you’re 13 for at least the last month before your birthday.
By the time you get to be my age, such excitement no longer applies.
It’s sad and bewildering but, for some reason, I am not exactly excited anymore about getting older. Oh well … that’s another change that you kiddies have to look forward to.
Topics: Stuff | 3 Comments »
I hear you knockin’
By Me | April 3, 2008
(Happy birthday to me, I live in a tree, the bark’s my backscratcher and I’m a veggie!)
Every now and then, I think I’m going to run out of song titles and/or lyrics with which to entitle my blog posts.
Hasn’t happened yet. How many years have I been doing this? (of course, it helps that I sometimes go for months without posting but still … )
By popular demand, I have reinstalled email notification of new blog posts, so that my undying fans will always know when there is newly posted silliness in the life and times of moi.
If you happen to be one of just a few people I arbitrarily added to this list, but who had never been on it before … well, it’s tempting to just say suck up and deal with it, but I won’t. I added you because I thought you might be interested in keeping up with me and mine. If, on the other hand, you just want to rid your email inbox of something else you didn’t ask for, you can always unsubscribe.
So, this post is something in the nature of a test. If everything is working like it should be, you should get an email telling you about it momentarily.
We will not return control of your inbox to you. Please return your stewardess to her original, upright position. We hope you enjoyed the flight and thank you for flying DIM Airways.
(AND I wound up having to upgrade my installation of WP to use this plugin, which I needed to do anyway, so … thanks for complaining, Gina! Okay, that’s enough geekness for one day.)
Topics: Stuff | 3 Comments »